There are the occasional moments when I feel introspective. Not to be confused with feeling depressed, or moody or anything like that but purely put into a place where after a lot of noise I end up with an unexpected season of quietness when I get a chance to process everything I have observed over the preceding months.

Like most things written on here, this is a random pretty much unedited description of those thoughts:

Observation One: Watch for people when they make statements about happiness or contentment, often times they are just trying to convince themselves. Whether that be in a relationship or a work position. While never having studied why people do this I have observed it many times. I suspect it is because subconciously they are process how they feel about something and while it may appear even to them that all is ok, the mere fact they are processing is a sign that it is not.

Observation Two: I watched the entire first season of the TV show House over the last few months. One of its central themes is “everybody lies” while not appearing jaded it is something to observe and take into consideration. I consider it the same way I take into consideration those whom believe in horoscopes - i.e. I am much more aware now that people do in fact lie about anything. I try not to presuppose what is being said is a lie, I simply don't presuppose it to be true. At the same time I still believe that the worst lie a man can tell is the one he tells himself and believes.

Observation Three: I have observed closely the struggle of men deciding between family and careers. It seems to me that nothing has changed from the times of Rome, once opportunity presents itself…

“I am acquainted with a man older than myself who is now superintendent of corn at Rome, and I remember the time when he came here on his way back from exile, and what he said as he related the events of his former life, and how he declared that with respect to the future after his return he would look after anything else than passing the rest of his life in quiet and tranquility. “For how little of life,” he said, “remains for me.” I replied, “You will not do it, but as soon as you smell Rome, you will forget all you have said; and if admission is allowed even into the imperial palace, you will gladly thrust yourself in and thank God.” “If you find me, Epictetus,” he answered, “setting even one foot within the palace, think what you please.” Well, what then did he do? Before he entered the city he was met by letters from Caesar, and as soon as he received them he forgot all, and ever after has added one piece of business to another. I wish that I were now by his side to remind him of what he said when he was passing this way and to tell him how much better a seer I am than he is.”

Observation Four: It is a more delightful observation to see young people that work with us developing and building their lives. Earning more money, making life decisions, renting places, buying places and etc. It is also an entertaining observation how guys once they decide to purchase a place have a tendency to suddenly look for a ‘life partner’ rather than just another girl friend -- like such things simply happen in a logical order -- love is anything but logical.

Observation Five: It is a profoundly interesting observation both Jesse and I had that we see some people happy precisely because they have “settled”. Maybe that is reflected in the old saying “in contentment there is great gain” -- however, I still believe that good is the enemy of best and finding the balance between contentment and the relentless pursuit of excellence is troublesome.

Observation Six: This in some way links to my fifth observation -- my perspective on expectations. It seems to me that somewhere in LA pop culture the saying came up about “lowering expectations” I heard so many of my friends say “I need to lower my expectations.” It seems to me lower expectation has a very dangerous element to it in terms of us lower our expectations of ourselves, and its as equally disturbing that we have no expectations of those around us.

Observation Seven: Young people in tough times. I don't stress to much about my young friends going through tough times I smile inwardly for them while still feeling empathy for them. “It is circumstances, which show what men are. Therefore when a difficulty falls upon you, remember that God, like a trainer of wrestlers, has matched you with a rough young man. “For what purpose?” you may say. Why, that you may become an Olympic conqueror; but it is not accomplished without sweat. In my opinion no man has had a more profitable difficulty that you have had, if you choose to make use of it, as an athlete would deal with a young antagonist.”  Epictetus

Observation Eight: During my trip to Italy I noticed a remarkable difference in how men treated women (compared to LA – ok I am not raising the bar very high). There they flirt way more but in a much more uplifting and romantic way. Here in LA its much more debasing and putting down. Interestingly making that comment when I came back to LA resulted in return comment “but that’s what LA girls want”.

Observation Nine: You never really know people. You know in part, but never the whole. In the deepest rivers it seems lie the darkest monsters.

Observation Ten: Relationships are very hard. (No shit hu?) But seriously, there is not one direction I can look and point and say "there, there is the perfect relationship" but even on a way more basic level I sometimes think our view of love mirrors closely our belief in ghosts: (1) something that many people believe in but few have ever seen; (2) something we perceive to be the substance of fairy tales and the false hope of those with weak minds, or (3) an expectation of some perfect or ideal person that does not really exist except in the theater of our own minds. However, with that said I do believe that for women that being self reliant and being taken care of is not mutualy exclusive. I also believe at a very fundamental level in love, and that women want to be fought for and men need to fight for the women in their lives.

I have a lot more observations that I merely have not had time to document yet. The following part of my thinking today reflects my own troubled thoughts as I seek to make sense of the noise of life around me:

The Cold Fog of Life:

I have written pieces before on perceived reality and our perception of it as truth. It’s a topic wrestled with frequently in close association (and a necessary topic of discussion) with Justice. Plato talks of it in the Allegory of the Cave where men have lived bound seeing only shadows and have no concept that there is more to life than these shadows for that is all they have known. Hollywood in its own way has tried to talk of this when they say that history is written by the conquerors and asks if William Wallace or Oliver Cromwell were tyrants or liberators. In more modern times I am sure that many people who worked during the internet bubble and those whom worked for Enron would have supposed that "this is now the way things are.” It is so strange yet so understandable how we perceive truth.

I talk of this being akin for most people to the observation of natural law and cause and effect. They are repeatable behavioral observations that have a huge impact on how we live our lives. This is well described in the book The Tipping Point and is the reason that the Elliot Wave makes technical analysis and trading possible on Wall Street.

But it is also why people need models (role models) in their lives and the thing that bothers me greatly is that there are not many great models out there right now. I try to be objective and ask myself, "is this just a perception?" and in reality there is no difference to the caliber of the men and women in leadership today vs the past -- "is it just that we still in some way deify our past leaders to make them look great?" I also try to be objective and ask myself "is it merely because greatness is made and there have been no opportunities for greatness to shine since WW2?" But still somehwere deep inside I feel that we lack leadership that is competent and generally just. I believe this to be the case in business, politics, statesmanship, religion, education and generally all institutions.

But I also believe its because there is a lot of noise. On the world stage right now are men and women who are scared because they don’t understand the change that is taking place around them. What you don't understand you fear, and not to be cliche but it could be clearly argued that we have fear based political policies being implemented at this time. This results in confusion on what ultimately becomes peoples perception of right and wrong. I personally believe that confusion of this magnitude creates a great unsettling in people almost a blurring as to what is just and unjust in general - almost like the conscience of the nation become both seared and confused and they become a people mentally and morally adrift.

Robert McNamara called this the “Fog of War” in the purely political and military context - but I believe that (a) this extends beyond the purely political (any time an unjust war is being waged - see my other post on that) and (b) just in general peoples souls are adrift at this time (not to dissimilar to the late 60's and early 70's). To see the implications of the The Fog of War read The Wise Men, and The Face of Battle and/or watch "The Fod of War" a Sony Classics Picture.  Using a similar description I would say that many lives I observe live in  “The Fog of Life” -- when all the data or observations of natural law are providing false readings of what is true. This in turn, I believe, gives a person a wrong perception of justice and can result in devastated lives through bad choices made by otherwise arguably good people. (another big topic)

For me personally I confess I have found this difficult of late. This “fog of life” has left me wishing that there were models look up too, that there were wise old men on the mountaintops to point out to us the way. I knew such a man once, born on the banks of the Nile some 80+ years ago the son of a missionary. He got malaria as child and suffered great illness his entire life. He observed the folly of the church (inc his father giving all his money away to missions organizations) and yet somehow didn’t lose faith, didn't become jaded. In almost an echo to the statements of the statesmen from the State and War depts in US administration during WW1 & 2 his words to me were “this too shall pass,” but now he too has passed on. Recently I had a dream where he was still alive and I was excited that I could ask one last question but even in my dream he died before I could. That is a picture of how I think we all feel some times – we have a question for the wise one but he is not there to answer it – there is just all of us, trying to figure this thing called life out.

Having been brought up in a very conservative Christian home, I find no hope or answers in the church. Having searched through both political parties (including flying to meet with Ralf Reed’s old Christian Coalition organization) and read all the books by all the talking heads, I find no hope and no leadership in either of the political parties. Having applied myself to business and observed many remarkable men in business, while I still believe in capitalism, when it becomes devoid of justice it too is a flawed model (again think Enron).

Having done a distant study of law I find I boil it down to the simple fact that we recruit from the human race those who write legislation, and from the human race we recruit the lawyers who interpret it and the judges and police whom enforce it. It is therefore no wonder that we have created the most litigious society in history and one that in my opinion is rapidly becoming devoid of any personal responsibility.

For me then I can only continue to place my hope and belief in Justice and the virtues. It is most true that many will try to change the meaning of this word. It is true that the fog of life will make apparitions of justice, and shadows that mimic its likeness but not its substance. But I for one see its echo through history and its ability to outlast the longest and boldest of lies (religion and political ideals such as communism).

I believe the world will reinvent itself over the next 15-30 years. I believe 100% in the concept of “The World is Flat” – namely that horizontal integration of ideas world-wide that breaks down traditional geo-political boundaries and moves (perhaps as it always has) the power and authority away from traditional governments (the same was as governments moved that power away from the church back to the state over the last 400 years) towards corporations and ideas. In such a world it will be the young people (likely tech savvy) who will become the statesmen and guardians of liberty moving forward. May they remember justice and form a new model for the next generation to look up to.

Science vs Humanity:

My second general area of concern which closely aligns with the first and seems to have its from presented in movies such as Powder where they quote Einstein as saying “our science is ahead of our humanity” and in more recent times has itself embedded in the book Angels & Demons which attempts to deal with the struggle between religion and science (a much more thought provoking story than Dan Browns second book in my opinion).

It is almost ironic to me that the western world has worried about morality and science in terms of communism and nuclear weapons (the prelude to WMD’s) when in reality the largest threats have turned out to be religious fanatics with box cutters on standard domestic airplanes, or explosives in back-backs on buses.

To me it shows that the battlefield always has been and will always remain the hearts of mankind not the minds. I don’t struggle with the fact that invention of the internet enables it to distribute aid information for the Red Cross and information to terror cells at the same time; to me its an amoral topic and a moot point. I struggle with the fact that almost no one seems to be reading Plato’s Republic any more and the very roots democratic and just thinking seem to be malnourished in the minds of the young people who will be tomorrows leaders. I am not making the argument that there are no moral issues in science, but I am making the argument that I am not worried that our science is ahead of our humanity.

I am more concerned that neither secular humanists, the religious right, or the liberal left are in any position to grasp the issues at hand and to in any way guide humanity through the decline of “The Empire That Dare Not Whisper Its Name” and the rise of global markets and once again the struggle of global ideas.

Conclusion:

I titled this post as cold hearts, because that is what I feel like we have become. A people with cold hearts… So while I don’t have the answers to these concerns I feel I do sense something I understand when reading the following from Chesterton:

“I wish to set forth my faith as particularly answering this double spiritual need, the need for that mixture of the familiar and the unfamiliar which Christendom has rightly named romance. For the very word “romance” has in it the mystery and ancient meaning of Rome. Any one setting out to dispute anything ought always to begin by saying what he does not dispute. Beyond stating what he proposes to prove he should always state what he does not propose to prove. The thing I do not propose to prove, the thing I propose to take as common ground between myself and any average reader, is the desirability of an active and imaginative life, picturesque and full of a poetical curiosity, a life such as western man at any rate always seems to have desired. If a man says that extinction is better than existence or blank existence better than variety and adventure, then he is not one of the ordinary people to whom I am talking. If a man prefers nothing I can give him nothing. But nearly all people I have ever met in this western society in which I live would agree to the general proposition that we need this life of practical romance; the combination of something that is strange with something that is secure. We need so to view the world as to combine the idea of wonder and an idea of welcome. We need to be happy in this wonderland without once being merely comfortable…

When The Times asked a number of writers for essays on the topic ‘What’s wrong with the World?’ Chesterton sent in the reply shortest and most to the point:

Dear Sirs:

I am.

Sincerely yours,

G.K. Chesterton

And so I would say the most remarkable thing that has been stated to me in many years was stated to me by a new friend recently when she observed / asked of her friends “what are you doing for America?”

For me in that very question lies hope. If I have seen any warmth of heart around me its in the group of friends I have that are always asking questions and are never afraid of the answers. Its in people who are having tough times right now because I know all the great leaders of the past had tough times in their 20’s and early 30’s. Somewhere in the search for the active and imaginative life that is picturesque and full of poetical curiosity is the key to seeing beyond the fog, beyond the noise and gaining a glimpse of the romance of justice.

Jesse and I recently visited with a friend in Houston who is a trader (wall street), he made the statement that when he has up all the news and alerts etc that traders have today he can’t trade, but when he sticks to the math of his chart and removes all the noise it becomes clear to him what to do.

I suspect life is the same way, when we live life as a grand adventure and as a great romance, when we embrace the mystery and like Chesterton live with our heads in the heavens instead of trying to stuff the heavens into our heads AND we can clear ourselves of the noise of society and broken models around us then we have a chance achieving felicity and at the same time in this we have the chance of creating the next generation of leaders I think we need. 

David